I was in KMart. . . in the electronics section. I?looked over and saw a news report on the bank of televisions. I didn't know the whole story, but I knew something horrific had happened at a school. I spoke softly across a half-size row of headphones to an older man in front of the TVs, "Where did it happen?"
"Oh, it happened earlier today."
"Where?" I asked again, trying not to bring it to the attention of my two children in the shopping cart, mostly shielded by the product gondola.
I was relieved it wasn't closer to home or close to any friends or relatives. I had a moment of concern earlier in the week from the shooting in Portland, checking Facebook to find out about friends in that city.
I kept shopping, still mostly unaware of the horrors the news report undoubtedly detailed. It wasn't until the 10 p.m. news, with my children asleep, that I heard the whole story -- or at least as whole as it was at the time. My kindergartener was slumbering on my lap as I heard that children her age faced unfathomable horror and fate earlier that day. My heart ached -- as I know hearts did across this nation.
In the days since, I still haven't seen too much of the news coverage from New Town, Conn. While I feel a little guilty that I don't honor those lost in the incident with my attention, overall I count this ignorance as a sort of blessing. I?am not consumed by the grief. I am consumed by life.
Sure, that's the status quo in our household. This business of living takes all of our time and energy. Trust me, we live it to the absolute fullest. Sometimes, I fear, that isn't for the best. But right now, in the wake of Friday's events, I'm thinking our numerous family events and activities are the essence of life and it must be savored.
I love to scrapbook, but I?rarely have time to indulge in my hobby. The other day, when gazing over my absolute mess of a scrapbook room, seeing numerous events and life experience I still wanted to put into an orderly 12x12 package, I contemplated the situation. I don't have time to preserve my memories because I am constantly using my time to make new ones. I think it might be the best use of time anyway.
After Friday, I think we all savor our family time a bit more. After all, there are no guarantees, just moments to live.